teagypsy:

Helo Internet.

“In our wheels that roll around
As we move over the ground
And all day it seems we’ve been in between
A past and future town

We are nowhere and it’s now
We are nowhere and it’s now

And like a ten minute dream in the passenger’s seat
While the world was flying by
I haven’t been gone very long
But it feels like a lifetime”

-Brighteyes

It’s been a while since I posted. It’s getting to be a real pain these days to type or look at anything on my mother’s completely busted computer. I avoid it a lot and I am really missing the things I do on here constantly when it is available. See, even right now I’m typing without even really knowing how the words will look till I go back to holding the screen together.

Today the streaks are purple and white. Some other day’s they’re blue. I’m really just rambling here, but that’s what I tend to do when I blog. It’s a weird thing to do, and an interesting way to share a slice of my life with anyone willing to look.

I’ve been watching alot of television lately. Not that I didn’t before but now it seems like when I get home it’s just chores, dinner and 3 hours of brain numbing television. I need to stop, but there is nothing else to do. I’m wondering how I will be able to handle summer if this is all I have to look forward. School gives me a life, people to see every day, and happy ,busy interaction.  I don’t know why but lately I crave human interaction like a drug. I feel like summer will be a forced withdrawl with a few ups and many ugggs.

I’ve started going in early to use the school coputers to edit my photographs, but I’m itching for new material. Something I can waste my days endlessly editng till it reaches personal perfection. I like editing for that. I don’t really understand why anyone would be reading to this point. If you are I have to wonder why your so bored too. Do you crave some sort of human interaction too?

 Not to sound emo, but this is my stream of blathering so I gues I can sound as I like, but I’m really tired of people forgetting me. I don’t mean it in the large way, like in “oh that one girl ” fashions, but it little ways like standing me up for hang out days, or movies. It keeps happening, like my friends just believe that because I’m so understanding, and I don’t get mad that it dosen’t hurt. Sometimes I don’t get invited at all, because they forgot. I guess I’m just getting tired of the way I act. I’m angry for my lack of a spine, for not getting what I want, for not finding a way to make everything better, for needing and wanting so hard to make anything better in the first place. Some days I just don’t like the many parts of me tht people admire. But I like my humor. I still love that carefree part of my head.

 I guess I should exsplain the lyrics up top. I juest guess nomatter how emo and cleche brighteyes can be (I want a lover I don’t have to love) sometimes it’s really just lyrical poetry. To listen and read can make you connect with almost evry word, or sometimes only a few. From a balance beam is probably my favorite though. These lyrics just make me smile today. For me that’s a reason to share.

Are you still reading Internet? Are you still listening to my brain go on and on? Half the time no one understands what I mean when I talk, so can you understand what I think? Do you know why I ask so many hypothetical questions? I don’t.  Anyways I guess I’m really ok. No matter how this post seems I want you to know that. Some days I am just plain happy. I hula down the halls and rock out in the lunchline. Today I’m just introspective and wordy. Tomorrow may bring rain and if so, I’ll go take time to dance in it and be happy again. I think that’s the beauty of being alive: to wake, to change, to acheive, to dream, to have the choice to change, and the option to never do so.

I’m sorry for the spelling,

goodnight and sweet dreams Internet.

get better soon :)

teagypsy:

Dear Internet,

I’m sick. So sick that this tumbr post took 15 minutes to type… and I know there are still errors somewhere. Sorry, zo bo my nose is leaking, grammar is the least of my worries. I’m going to be absent from school tomorrow which if you know me ersonally is a jinormous deal. I just have the fever again which usually leaves me immobile. I did make it to the couch this morning which fortoday is an acomplishment. And I watched many movies on the television. So many documentaries… Anywho’s just an update. For now I pray against dreams.

Goodnight Internet.